Every wedding planner has to connect with their couples. A destination planner has to do it across an ocean, for months, and still make the couple feel personally looked after on a day they may only see in photos until they arrive. Lisa Makaneole runs Lotus Events & Weddings in Hawaii, planning celebrations for couples who mostly live somewhere else, and she has built her whole practice around one idea: that clear communication, handled deliberately, can close almost any distance. Here is how she does it.
Communication as the actual product
“We prioritize communication with our couples above all else,” Lisa says. “And it’s not just about listening. It’s about truly hearing what the couple envisions.” For her, that is the cornerstone rather than a soft skill, because it does two jobs at once. It makes sure every detail of the vision is understood and built correctly, and it lays down a foundation of trust that keeps a couple calm through months of planning a wedding they cannot drop by to check on. Open, honest communication is how she avoids surprises, and avoiding surprises is most of what a remote couple is anxious about.
A channel for each kind of conversation
The thing worth stealing from Lisa is that she does not treat “communication” as one activity. She matches the channel to the job.
Video calls are for connection. Zoom, Google Meet, and WhatsApp let her see a couple’s faces and share their excitement no matter the miles, and for a lot of couples that face-to-face reassurance is what makes a distant planner feel present and real. Email is the backbone for anything formal or detailed, because it leaves a clear, documented trail of the planning journey, invaluable when the information is complex and the record matters. Text messages carry the quick stuff, the fast question and the decision that needs making now, keeping momentum without waiting on a scheduled call. And project management and file-sharing tools, Honeybook, Google Docs, Harpsen in her case, keep everyone on the same page and let the wedding take shape collaboratively in real time.
Lisa does not have one way of talking to couples. She has a right tool for the excited call, the detailed record, the urgent question, and the shared plan.
Adapt to the couple, not the other way around
None of that is a fixed script. “Each couple’s communication preference is as unique as their wedding vision,” Lisa says, “so we’ve embraced a flexible, adaptable approach.” Some couples want the weekly video call; others want to text and see a shared board update. She lets the mix be led by the couple’s needs and evolves it as the planning moves, and she credits that responsiveness directly for the strong, trusting relationships she builds. It is a small philosophical shift with a big effect: the couple never has to learn your system, because your system bends to them.
Let the pictures do the talking
Ask Lisa whether a picture beats a paragraph and she agrees completely. “Describing a sunset beach ceremony or a floral arrangement in words is one thing. Visually sharing that concept is entirely different.” In destination planning, where the couple cannot walk the venue or see the flowers in person, visual tools do the heavy lifting, letting her and a couple pinpoint preferences together, adjust details in real time, and try concepts side by side until everyone is picturing the same day. The shared image removes the guesswork that words leave behind, so what they dream together is what actually gets built.
The values underneath the tools
For all the technology, Lisa is clear that the tools only carry the relationship; they do not create it. She names the ingredients plainly: professionalism and clear communication that make a couple feel valued, honesty and transparency so there is no room for doubt, empathy and respect that let her connect through a process loaded with emotion, and active listening, which she calls her superpower, understanding not just what a couple says but what they actually wish for. The digital stack is what lets those values reach a couple two time zones away as if she were sitting in their living room. Match the channel to the moment, adapt to the couple, show them the picture, and distance stops being the obstacle it looks like from the outside.
Lisa Makaneole runs Lotus Events & Weddings and is at @lotuseventsweddings.
